2021.12.04 04:30 Big_Potato_Boi Where is this bitch from?!
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2021.12.04 04:30 Rmon_34 Me: PRC
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2021.12.04 04:30 StupidFatHobbit3 Porn and Nudes
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2021.12.04 04:30 WallStapless Any reccomendations for community servers hosting the new Smissmas maps?
I'd love to know what the new maps are like, but I've been searching for a Valve server for literally 40 minutes and have not found a server that wasn't completely taken over by bots. Pretty sad.
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2021.12.04 04:30 mondo318 Might be a hot take but kingpin is not natty
2021.12.04 04:30 Anhart15 Well....here I am. This really sucks.
I'm really, really new to this sub and tbh have kinda been avoiding it for the past few weeks/month since my STBX initiated our divorce proceedings. Reddit has become my go-to for news information, entertainment, advice and support. I'd joined all kinda of subreddits before for marriage and relationship advice; infertility and pregnancy when we were trying; grief and loss when my baby miscarried; faith and other kinds of forums. So...now I'm here. On divorce...my heart is so sad.
I'm 28F and I'm going to be divorced. Our 5 year anniversary is in two weeks. I still love him - I love him so much. But living with him for the past 4+ years hasn't been easy. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done. We've faced so much together, and I've also been put through the ringer. I wanted to make things better - I wanted to keep working. He's the man I envisioned dying next to in the old folks home. And now....now we're just roommates who occasionally talk, and once the divorce is finalized I'm going to leave.
Nothing about our relationship/marriage was perfect, but I thought it was good. I thought we complimented each other, bringing the best out in each other. Now though...I can see that he resented how much I wanted him to be "his best self". Because becoming a better person is difficult, time consuming, and painful. To look at yourself and say "I can be better" is a fucking painful process. But I did it...I did it for him. I stood on the brink of self hatred and said, "no...I want to get healthiebetter because I love him and want to be with him forever." What hurts the most is, he wouldn't do that for me.
Each night I fight the compulsion to climb into bed next to him. I miss sleeping beside him. I reach out to his side and feel for him (thankfully my puppy is now there so I don't just feel empty bed). Whenever I see something funny or crazy on Reddit I want to send it to him. My default is to share everything with him about my day. Some days he's nice and cordial to me and we chat/laugh a little. But most of the time he avoids all contact with me unless it's a formality. I'm a stranger in my own home, and hate that I feel so unwelcome in a place I worked so hard to make comfortable. This "limbo" between being married and being divorced really fucking sucks.
There is light at the end of the tunnel for me - I'm finally able to go home now. I left my home state and my family to he with him 6 years ago. Now, I'm free to go back. I'm free to go wherever really, but for now I want to go back. I want to have morning coffee with my mom and not feel ashamed to hide so many of my marriage issues from here. I hated having to run interference between my spouse and my family - I'm done trying to defend them to him. My life will be better, in so many ways. But...it's at a huge cost. I'm losing the "other half" I've belonged to for 5 years.
If you're still reading this, I want to say thank you, internet stranger - thank you for letting me get this off my chest. There have been so many life events I'd never thought I'd have to face: leaving a job for mental health reasons, having a miscarriage, facing the fear of a global pandemic...and now, divorcing the man I committed to love for the rest of my life. And I will still love him for the rest of my life, I know that for certain. But...I won't be his wife anymore. He doesn't even want me to be his friend. I'll just be a memory...a footnote on his record. And it really hurts.
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2021.12.04 04:30 brokencablebox How can you break the cycle of daydreaming to be productive?
I'm constantly daydreaming, and if I'm not, then I'm most likely scrolling through my phone. I want to be here in reality but I choose daydreaming over productivity a lot of the time and it's really hurting me... not just academically, but it's like my soul hurts too (not being dramatic), it's like I'm just tired of not accomplishing what I want. I have zero motivation, I feel lazy.
I've always had a tendency to daydream, but I think the daydreaming got really bad as I was battling my Harm OCD. I needed an escape. But I don't want to escape anymore. I don't have a reason to escape anymore.
I love my family and I want to spend more time with them but I'm addicted to just... not being in the present moment. My dad jokes that I'd rather be on my phone than spend time with the family but it's not true, and I die a little inside everytime he says that.
I think part of the problem is that I don't know what I want to accomplish. I want to help people and do something important but that's it. I'm just wandering without direction.
Any advice? I'd really really appreciate it. ❤
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2021.12.04 04:30 sharesneakersusu I really love Chicago color schemes, and there is no way to refuse the Chicago color AJ1. How about you? 😍😍
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2021.12.04 04:30 sohumm UHQ Tamanna Bhatia
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2021.12.04 04:30 superdudecheese Ban me so I don't have to see this server
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2021.12.04 04:30 NeverRisen God
2021.12.04 04:30 Tunklz_ What keeps you motivated?
2021.12.04 04:30 coolguyfromlb Motley Fool hates Crypto?
2021.12.04 04:30 Apprehensive-Date490 The Importance of Regular Eye Exams
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2021.12.04 04:30 sheidan Giving away 50 Boring Guys NFTs | 8200$ worth | Upvote this post , as well as join Discord + Twitter to get one. Links in comments section.
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2021.12.04 04:30 Due_Dot2053 Do guys think steam will release game console rather than steam deck?
Why value not releasing console like playstation or xbox but releasing hand held console with less power than normal console and pricer than them, even steam is the giant in digital game distribution field.
submitted by Due_Dot2053 to Steam [link] [comments]
2021.12.04 04:30 Any-Promise4148 OAD + being close to family
Inspired by an earlier thread:
For those who live close to family (and has their help) explain how much living close to them helps.
We're about 90% OAD because of our ages + Covid stresses, we also live abroad, but not super keen to return to Canada, so one makes it easier. Or so I've thought....
However there's A LOT of guilt on my part and discussion about this between us. If we moved back, it would be totally for the benefit of our son and the family that lives there. Both of us would prefer to continue where we are (UK) mainly for professional and personal reasons. If it wasn't for my son, I have zero interest living in Canada again.
Lately though I've really felt the strain of not having family close by, our son is almost 3 and while my partner and I trade-off a lot, it's a constant negotiation of time and trying to squeeze tiny bits of non-kid things in. I'm exhausted.
I keep on wondering how it would be different with family close-ish (they'd be between 15-90 mins away) I know my Mom would be super involved, my Dad (they're divorced) less so. Brother, who knows. Brother and sister in law, also not sure about
What does it look and feel like to have that support? I need convincing that if we did move there (to a location I quite honestly loathe) that there would be some benefit for me as well, because right now it just feels like a big sacrifice to make everyone else happy at our expense.
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2021.12.04 04:30 Creeamieee I personally haven’t watched the sequels, what makes Rey’s character so bad?
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2021.12.04 04:30 NewsElfForEnterprise 'Harlem' star says show expands the vision of what's possible for Black queer women
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2021.12.04 04:30 natarawilliams19 WB Zekrom can invite 9 (accept = INVITE)
2021.12.04 04:30 pretentiousviv What flavours of Tang is your favourite and what different flavours have you tasted other than Orange from your country?
2021.12.04 04:30 HypnotizedNeverLie Crimea Platform: A way forward
2021.12.04 04:30 Dry_Chemical_2177 cappuccino aj 4s haze idk if these are good but they were ¥220 so you really cant go wrong
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2021.12.04 04:30 DANIBESTGAMEDEV Minecraft 1.18 performance.
Basically i have a low end pc with just 4gb ram. Is there any way I could increase my fps. Btw I have tried every possible settings to reduce lag but couldnt get more than 15 fps. Any suggestions would be appreciated!
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2021.12.04 04:30 mysteriouslycryptic What minor inconvenience drives you fucking insane?